Who is Angela Deem, aka ‘Angela Obey Who?’
Angela Deem is an ex-cast member of the TLC reality show “90 Day Fiancé”. She is known for her refusal to vow to “love and obey” her husband as part of a Nigerian traditional wedding. She famously asked, “Obey who?” during her wedding vows to a Nigerian man named Michael Ilesanmi. The line became an iconic moment that quickly went viral on social media.
Angela Deem was born on December 9, 1965, in Hazlehurst, Georgia, USA. Raised in a small Southern town, Angela grew up with a strong sense of family and community. These values, it appears, would later define much of her public persona. Little is publicly documented about her early years, but her roots in rural Georgia shaped her outspoken and no-nonsense personality. Before rising to fame, Angela worked as a nursing assistant at a hospice. The role highlighted her nurturing side, though her fiery demeanour would later become her hallmark on reality television.
Angela is a mother to two daughters, Scottie and Skyla, from previous relationships. She is also a devoted grandmother to six grandchildren. Her family-oriented nature has been a recurring theme in her television appearances. She frequently showcased her protective instincts and dedication to her loved ones on-screen.
The “Obey Who?” Moment
During her wedding ceremony to Michael Ilesanmi in Nigeria, Angela was asked to repeat the traditional vows. This included the phrase “to love and to obey” him. Angela immediately questioned the wording, asking, “Obey what…obey who?”
This caused a stir and became a widely shared meme and iconic line from the show.
Reactions to the “Obey Who?” incident
The incident occurred during Angela and Michael’s wedding ceremony in Nigeria in 2020. It quickly became a viral clip shared all around social media. Angela interrupted the vows upon hearing the phrase “to love and to obey” as used in the Nigerian Christian vow.
Despite the hilarity and entertaining quality, the incident highlighted a clash of cultures and expectations within marriages like that. Angela’s refusal to include “obey” in her vows signalled her firm belief in equality in their marriage. This position resonated widely with audiences and sparked significant discussion.
The phrase “Obey Who?” became a viral meme and catchphrase, encapsulating Angela’s bold, unapologetic personality. It struck a chord with viewers, particularly those who saw it as a stand against traditional gender roles in marriage. The moment was widely shared across social media platforms, spawning memes, GIFs, and fan merchandise. It cemented Angela’s status as a standout figure in the 90 Day Fiancé franchise. It also contributed to broader conversations about modern relationships. These reactions attracted the attention of couples in cross-cultural contexts, where expectations of marital roles can differ significantly.
The “Obey Who?” moment boosted Angela’s visibility within the 90 Day Fiancé franchise. She is often hailed as one of the show’s most memorable personalities. It was frequently revisited in tell-all specials and fan discussions, reinforcing her role as a polarising yet captivating figure. The phrase has been referenced in subsequent seasons and even influenced her public branding, with Angela leaning into the moment through social media engagement and fan events.
About Angela and Michael Ilesanmi’s marriage
Angela Deem, a nursing assistant from Hazlehurst, Georgia, and Michael Ilesanmi, from Lagos, Nigeria, met online in 2017 through social media. Their relationship was featured on Season 2 of 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days (2018), highlighting their long-distance romance. Angela, in her 50s, and Michael, in his 30s, faced immediate obstacles due to their 20-year age gap, cultural differences, and the logistical challenges of the K-1 visa process. Angela’s bold, outspoken personality contrasted with Michael’s more reserved demeanour, leading to frequent on-screen conflicts over trust, finances, and plans, including disagreements about starting a family.
After multiple visits to Nigeria, documented across Before the 90 Days Seasons 2 and 3, Angela proposed to Michael, and they became engaged in 2018. Their wedding took place on January 27, 2020, in Lagos, Nigeria, as shown in 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After? Season 5. The ceremony was a pivotal moment, notably marked by Angela’s viral “Obey Who?” outburst, where she refused to include “obey” in her vows, emphasising equality in their marriage. The wedding was a blend of Nigerian traditions and Angela’s Southern flair, but underlying tensions, including trust issues and family disapproval, were evident.
Visa Problems and the Aftermath
Michael’s K-1 visa application was delayed for years due to bureaucratic issues, keeping them in a long-distance marriage until late 2023, when Michael finally arrived in the United States. This period strained their relationship, with Angela frequently travelling to Nigeria.
Differences in cultural expectations, particularly around gender roles and family planning, led to frequent arguments. Angela underwent weight loss surgery and explored fertility options to carry a child, despite her age, while Michael faced pressure from his family to have children.
Angela’s accusations of Michael’s infidelity, including claims of him communicating with other women online, fueled public disputes. Michael, in turn, later alleged mistreatment by Angela, describing their dynamic as controlling.
Their volatile relationship, showcased across Happily Ever After? Seasons 5–7 and 90 Day: The Last Resort (2023–2024) drew both fan support and criticism. Angela’s confrontational behaviour and Michael’s perceived compliance sparked debates about power dynamics.
The Marriage Breakdown
In February 2024, Michael left Angela’s Georgia home after an argument, prompting Angela to file for an annulment in June 2024, alleging Michael had fraudulently entered the marriage to gain U.S. residency. She claimed he was part of a “Nigerian syndicate” and had been unfaithful, accusations Michael denied. Michael, meanwhile, filed for divorce, citing “cruel treatment” and abandonment by Angela, and sought spousal support. Legal documents from Jeff Davis County, Georgia, confirm these proceedings, with Angela hiring a private investigator to support her claims.
In August 2024, Michael was reported missing after leaving Angela’s home, but he was later found safe, living in Indiana. He stated he left due to feeling unsafe and claimed Angela had not contacted him since. Their legal battle remains ongoing, with no finalised divorce or annulment as of September 2025. Social media posts and 90 Day Fiancé tell-all episodes suggest continued estrangement of the two. However, both have appeared together in franchise-related content, including The Last Resort, indicating some level of professional interaction.
As of September 2025, Angela and Michael’s marriage appears to be effectively over, though legal proceedings are unresolved. Angela remains in Hazlehurst, Georgia, focusing on her reality TV career and social media presence. There was news of a recent music release. Michael is reportedly living independently in the U.S., possibly in Indiana. Their relationship status is complicated by conflicting narratives: Angela portrays Michael as deceitful, while Michael claims he endured emotional abuse. Fans are divided, with some supporting Angela’s bold persona and others sympathising with Michael’s perspective.
Where is Angela Deem, aka ‘Angela Obey Who’, right now?
As of the time of writing (September 2025), Angela Deem still resides in her long-time home base, Hazlehurst, Georgia, USA.
She has also been travelling and posting about new relationships on social media. Some posts come with speculations about her new boyfriend’s home country. She is currently separated from her estranged husband, Michael, and is pursuing an annulment.
There are also reports that Angela is currently facing legal and financial struggles. Angela is still in contact with her family and is active on social media platforms like Instagram and TikTok. Multiple reports say she was fired by TLC.
