Building queer futures through story, culture, and community.
Medical Disclaimer: This guide provides general harm‑reduction information, not medical advice. For personalised care—particularly if you have an ongoing health condition—please consult a clinician experienced in LGBTQ+ health. Quick Answer: …
Best Foods for Recovery After Chemsex — A Gay Man’s Guide Read More
If you scroll through Instagram, TikTok, X, or open a grid-based dating app like Grindr or Jack’d, you could be forgiven for thinking gay culture has become one endless loop …
Why It Looks Like Being Gay Is All About Sex Right Now Read More
Sex is supposed to be a moment of connection—where you are fully in your body, fully feeling rather than thinking. But sometimes, especially under pressure, your mind flips into “observer …
Why Many Black Gay Men Struggle With Spectatoring During Sex Read More
⚠️ Content Note: This article addresses erectile dysfunction, stigma, and mental health in gay men. Sensitive themes are discussed—please proceed with care. Erectile dysfunction (ED)—difficulty getting or keeping an erection …
How Internalised Stigma Fuels Erectile Issues in Black Gay Men Read More
On dating apps, at parties, and inside queer community spaces, Black gay men frequently encounter racialised fetishisation—the experience of being approached through stereotypes rather than being met as a full …
Want to Date Black Gay Men Without Fetishising Them? Here’s How Read More
The Igbo people of southeastern Nigeria share a rich culture centred on philosophy, spirituality, and communal values. Our fundamental way of seeing and interpreting the world rests heavily on three …
Keeping One’s Hand Straight in Igbo Culture: Integrity, Ikenga & Trust Read More
In the middle of Manhattan in 2000—where everything feels fast, loud, and larger than life—two male chinstrap penguins quietly became global symbols of tenderness, partnership, and unexpected parenthood. Their names …
Roy and Silo— Gay Penguin Couple That Raised a Chick in a Zoo Read More
Malik’s phone lit up with messages the way it always did—fire emojis, quick compliments, the same shorthand that reduced him to a silhouette. He had just posted a photo from …
Trade vs. Thinker: The Cost of Valuing Black Bodies Over Black Minds Read More
By Daniel Nkado for dnbstories.com. In gay culture, “top,” “bottom,” and “vers” were never meant to be social identities or personality types. They were supposed to be simple communication tools …
The Power of Screaming ‘I’m a Power Bottom Lesbian’ as a Black Gay Man Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Dear Brothers, As 2025 comes to an end and we look toward 2026, this message is for my fellow Black queer men—especially those of us who navigate …
Brother to Brother: Chemsex, PnP & HnH Safety for Black Gay Men Read More
By DNB Editors. This article draws on aggregated public data, user reports, and anonymised trend summaries. No individual user information is included. Grindr is more than just a hookup app—it’s …
Grindr Unwrapped 2025: Top/Bottom/Dom—What It Reveals Read More
By Victor Umeh & Daniel Nkado. Content warning: This article discusses interpersonal harm in Black queer spaces, including manipulation, femophobia, HIV stigma, and related dynamics. Some readers may find this …
19 Unflattering Behaviours Seen in Black Queer Spaces—with Examples Read More
By Daniel Nkado. On apps like Grindr, Scruff, or Jack’d, many Black gay and bisexual men notice a distinct pattern: their inboxes fill up faster than those of their peers, …
The ‘BBC’ Fetish and Black Gay Men: How Desire Can Dehumanise Read More
By Daniel Nkado for dnbstories.com. Trigger note: This article discusses sexual rejection and stigma. If any section feels distressing, consider pausing and reaching out to a trusted person or professional …
How to Handle Sexual Rejection as a Gay Man: A Practical Framework Read More
By Daniel Nkado. In queer dating and relationships, labels like top and bottom help people communicate what they enjoy. But when these terms solidify into permanent identities—dictating what someone “should” …
Top vs. Bottom: 8 Ways Rigid Roles Hurt Gay & Bi Men—Why Fluidity Matters Read More
By Daniel Nkado. For many Black gay men, internalised shame arrives quietly—through a barber’s sidelong glance, a preacher’s pause, or the sudden hush at family gatherings—when you walk into a …
Overcoming Internalised Shame as a Black Gay Man—A Research-Backed Guide Read More
By Daniel Nkado. In my Nigerian voice: I knew we were finished the moment I saw the language of the therapist’s office enter gay dating culture. 🙆🏾♂️😊 Terms like gaslighting, …
Gaslighting or Boundaries: Is Therapy Speak Ruining Gay Dating Today? Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Finding a long-term romantic partner presents difficulties for most people today. However, for gay and bisexual men, these challenges are compounded by barriers that extend beyond the …
Why gay dating feels impossible today: 6 science-backed reasons Read More
By Daniel Nkado. For many gay and bisexual men, the desire for receptive anal sex (bottoming) is thwarted by physical pain, panic, tightening or an inability to “relax.” Pelvic pain …
Pelvic Armouring—How it Makes Bottoming Harder for Gay & Bi men Read More
By DNB Editors. On November 10, 2025, the U.S. Supreme Court delivered a quiet but powerful win for marriage equality: the Court declined to hear former Kentucky county clerk Kim …
SCOTUS Upholding Marriage Equality—What It Means For Queer People Read More
By Daniel Nkado. It was October 2012. I was barely 20. I travelled to Umuahia to meet a man I had met on Manjam. Manjam was what Grindr is now—a …
From Sandal to Scandal: The Origin and Dark Evolution of ‘Kito’ Read More
By Golden Madu and Daniel Nkado Content warning: This article contains descriptions of physical violence, sexual assault, extortion, and homophobic hate crimes. Reader discretion advised. “He seemed so genuine. We …
Kito Nightmare: 3 Nigerian Gay Men Recount Dating-App Ordeals Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Ageing is a universal experience, but how we navigate it can vary dramatically based on our identities and societal expectations. Have you ever wondered why some men …
How Straight and Gay Men Age Differently: A Cultural Exploration Read More
Love from the DNB family. For every member of the Black and African queer community—whether you’re in Lagos, Nairobi, Accra, Johannesburg, London, New York, Texas, or anywhere in the world—creativity …
Finding Joy and Healing Through Art—A Love Letter to Black Queer People Read More
by DNB editorial team. As Griff croons in her haunting track Earl Grey Tea: “You’re so scared you’re aging faster / So you drink Earl Grey tea ’cause you heard …
Why gay men fear ageing — And how we can rewrite the story 🖤❤️ Read More
By Great Maxwell. Warning: This piece contains accounts of forced religious “deliverance,” spiritual coercion, and sexual abuse that may be triggering. If you are in an unsafe situation, currently distressed, …
Coming out as gay in Nigeria: Surviving religious conversion therapy Read More
Pretty Boma, born Boma Kalio, is a 25-year-old trans Nigerian woman from Okrika in Rivers State, Nigeria. Her brave journey of self-discovery began early. At just 8 years old, she …
Finding affirming healthcare in Nigeria: A trans woman’s brave story Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Many gay men describe feeling a different kind of fatigue — a deep, persistent exhaustion that does not come from doing more work. It’s more like being …
Queer Burnout is real: How minority stress leaves gay men exhausted Read More
One commonly searched question that has continued to shock data experts is: “Is my husband gay?” The phenomenon is significant because it reveals how anonymity allows people to voice high-stakes …
Is my husband gay? Why millions of women still search this online Read More
In addition to being one of the most-listened-to singers of her time, Taylor Swift also boasts one of the most passionate fanbases in the entertainment world—affectionately known as Swifties. From …
Why Swifties Stay Loyal—Fans share why they love Taylor Swift Read More
By DNB Editors. High self-esteem doesn’t look the same for everyone, and for gay men, it is often shaped by personal experiences of surviving stigma, community, and personal history. This …
How to spot high self-esteem in gay men and build yours Read More
by Gloria Ezeh Bottom-shaming is a set of words, jokes, profiles, and behaviours that demean receptive anal sex and the men who enjoy it. It shows up everywhere: in hookups …
How bottom‑shaming affects us all: Real-life examples and ways to end it Read More
by DNB editors. Let’s be honest: the terms “Top” and “Bottom” are cute until they start feeling like job titles. Sure, they help describe what you’re into, but when labels …
Role-flipping— A practical guide to versatile gay sex Read More
By Daniel Nkado. “DL” stands for “down-low,” a term describing men—often Black or Latino men—who publicly present as straight but privately engage in same-sex relationships. Originating as an African-American slang …
DL Posing: How some gay men monetise down‑low identity for gain Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Gay men and the concept of defensive masculinity Many gay men learn early in life through teasing and societal pressure that being “feminine” invites shame. So they …
Masc4Masc: Why many gay men worship ‘macho’ men 💪🏾 Read More
Like two neighbours living in the same building and fighting about everything, but secretly in love, Nigeria and Ghana have been at war with each other since Anansi’s head became …
Forget Ghana & Naija Jollof – Here’s the real food war and Ghana wins! Read More
The pleasure in bottoming does not come from endurance. It comes from control and relaxation. The “Control + Relax” technique is a smart body and mind approach that uses muscle …
Control-Relax Tip: A guide to pain-free bottoming for all men Read More
By Daniel Nkado. Why do some gay men command the runway in heels while others play football like the game was designed for them? Anyone who’s met a range of …
Why some gay men act ‘masc’ or ‘fem’ — Science explains Read More
by Daniel Nkado Some songs make you dance. Others make you remember. For millennials, Owl City and Carly Rae Jepsen’s “Good Time” does both — a happy song that somehow …
This Happy Song is so Nostalgic, it Makes Millennials Cry Read More
by Daniel Nkado It seems every year — or less — a segment of the Black gay community discovers a new trend to turn into fashion and use as another …
Black Gay Men, Stop Clenching and Relax — ‘Tight Hole’ is a Myth Read More
by Daniel Nkado In the quiet corners of the human heart, where feelings begin and identities take root, few questions stir as much curiosity—and confusion—as this: Can a straight person …
The Big Question: Can A Straight Person Ever Become Gay? Read More
by Daniel Nkado We’re all here for Taylor’s return to glam! Inspired by her Eras Tour success and her blossoming romance with Travis Kelce, Taylor Swift’s 12th studio album, The …
The Life of a Showgirl Review: fun, flashy—a little flawed Read More
Love has always been one of life’s greatest mysteries. It drives art, songs, and heartbreak stories across the world. But beneath all the emotions and poetry lies a simple question …
Does it really matter why you love someone? MAYBE! Read More
By Daniel Nkado. For many young gay men today, accepting themselves or even coming out is only the beginning. Beyond family and societal acceptance, there’s another world to navigate: the …
Gay Men and the Pressure of Managing Reputation Within the Community Read More
Netflix’s recent miniseries Wayward, created by Mae Martin and starring Toni Collette, got people talking about the dark side of “troubled teen” programs. The show takes place at a fictional …
How Wayward’s ‘Hot Seat’ idea can help real relationships Read More
Do West African men really have “better” genetics for muscle? In some ways, yes — genetic traits like fast-twitch dominance provide a slight head start. But while it’s true that …
Why West African men have more muscle – Role of genetics, diet, lifestyle, explained Read More
You finally prove your idea works — and suddenly everyone else wants in. Starting a business in the UK today feels a lot like screaming into a storm. You have …
Starting a new VIABLE business in the UK: Your success is your first killer Read More
The last decade has given horror fans unforgettable monsters — Gabriel from Malignant, the Babadook, the Tethered in Us, and the Entity from It Follows. But one creature may top …
Why the Smile Entity is the Creepiest Horror Monster of the Last Decade Read More
Who is Angela Deem, aka ‘Angela Obey Who?’ Angela Deem is a cast member of the TLC reality show “90 Day Fiancé”, who famously asked, “Obey who?” during her wedding …
Where is Angela Deem, aka ‘Angela Obey Who’, right now? Read More
By Daniel Nkado. One troubling pattern I’ve observed about modern gay culture is the gendering of sex roles—treating “top” and “bottom” as if they’re fixed gender identities rather than fluid …
Dear Gay Men in 2025: You are not a Top, or a Bottom, or a Label Read More
Every small business owner knows this feeling: your apartment is slowly turning into a warehouse, with boxes on the couch, on the kitchen table, and even on the hallway floor. …
Startup on the Couch vs. Professional Warehouse: When It’s Time to Delegate Logistics Read More
by Staff writer Warning: This article contains annoying elements of discomfort called “spoilers”. Thandie Newton (credited as Thandiwe Newton, after reverting to her original name spelling in 2021) plays Dr. …
All about Thandie Newton’s role in Wednesday Season 2 Read More
by Daniel Nkado I sincerely apologise for the click-b8. The amount I have made so far is not up to £15K (yet) — around the corners of £8K to be …
How I earned £15K from a cool business I started this year Read More
by Daniel Nkado In the neon-drenched sprawl of New London, 3020, the air hummed with the electric buzz of hovercars and the synthetic laughter of holograms. The city was a …
Fiction: The Last Top in 3020 Read More
Key Points London Black Pride 2025, also known as UK Black Pride, is a significant event as it is celebrating its 20th anniversary on Sunday, 10 August 2025, at Queen …
Full details of 2025 UK Black Pride in London: Date, Venue, Time, etc Read More
Meremere N’ihu – Kwampiti N’azu is an old Igbo adage. It literally translates to “Soft in the front – war at the back”. Other metaphorical speculations exist, but in Igbo …
Meremere N’ihu – Kwampiti N’azu – A Cherished Igbo Adage Read More
Great sex can show itself in some surprising ways! It doesn’t like to be hidden. Based on known psychological and physiological studies on the effects of sexual satisfaction, adults often …
13 unconventional signs someone is having great sex Read More
by Daniel Nkado Nigerians are mostly not known to be very flexible when it comes to trying new cuisine. This lack of interest may even be more pronounced in Igbos, …
Why some Igbo people are slow to try new foods Read More
Here’s what the two AI chatbots have to say: GROK: Whether Grok (specifically Grok 3, as I’m built by xAI) is “better” than ChatGPT depends on what you’re looking for—there’s …
Is Grok AI better than ChatGPT? – Check out the answer! Read More
The Nigerian Pidgin language can be confusing to speakers of standard English because it often uses English words that take on completely different meanings in the context of their usage …
‘No Dey Whine Me’ – true meaning of the Nigerian Pidgin phrase Read More