My girlfriend has refused to go back to her house

Mr James shared this story

My name James and I live in Lagos, Allen to be precise.

My girlfriend was in my house the day they announced the first segment of the Lagos lockdown. It was on a Sunday and the lockdown was to start from 11:59 PM the next day (Monday).

I tried talking to my girlfriend to see if she would want to go home and spend the lockdown in her house. She was agreeing to the idea before, but then probably changed her mind. She was still around by evening. Seeing it was beginning to get late, I decided to ask her what she has decided to do.

My girlfriend said she would like to spend the lockdown with me. She asked if I had any problem with that and I reluctantly said no.

“What about clothes?” I asked her. “You didn’t come with many clothes?”

She looked amused by my question. “Babe, it is a total lockdown. We won’t be going anywhere. I have enough underwear and all my personal care stuff – that’s all that matters.”

I said okay again, with a dose of hesitation still.

Now I have to say I like my girlfriend. She is neat, intelligent and lively. But I also like my space and peace. I was always okay with her coming from time to time (she even has a spare key) but 14 days seems a lot. And now with the new extension, that would be 28 days! I can’t handle it.

My girlfriend claims to be feminist but a great part of the bill still falls on me. I don’t feel comfortable asking her for support while buying stuff. She takes care of the minor stuff like getting detergent and soap but she has never spent more than 1000 naira buying anything. I take care of the food, the subscriptions, the provisions (cereal and beverages) and car stuff.

Sometimes, it just feels like a burden because with her around I spent twice as much and this is like a bad time to be spending so much. She eats a lot but luckily doesn’t add weight. She is one of those thin girls that eat four times their size yet with no increase in weight.

This lockdown period has opened my eyes to what marriage feels like. It is actually scary. The sex has happened too many times it is no longer exceptional. I no longer look forward to it. I am bored.

I like my space. I like my channels and games. Now I’ve been seeing a lot of Nollywood movies because of her and there is only one TV. She always has the remote, moving from Africa Magic to Zee World and then Telemundo and Nickelodeon. I really don’t know how to tell her to go to her house (for a period at least) without coming off as rude and insensitive.

While I was feeling down about the recent extension of the lockdown, she just sat sprawled in the sitting room, eating cookies and drinking cold juice.

She saw I was worked up and turned to me and said: “Babe, calm down abeg. The extension is expected. Just calm down.”

“Abeg” is a Nigerian way of saying “I beg”, used to confer an idea of impatience in a speech.

Today, Tuesday, we had a small argument about money. She was asking I order pizza and I told her she should finish the ugly egusi soup she made the other night. She refused and kept on demanding for the pizza.

“Then buy it yourself and stop disturbing me. It’s not like you have been using your money for anything else since you’ve been here!”

She said she was disappointed to know I feel this way, especially when I was aware of her situation.

She worked as the control manager in one of the biggest logistics companies in Lagos but the coronavirus has caused them to shut down, even before the lockdown was announced.

I work with an advertising company on the island and I have been working from home. Unlike her, I still get paid some allowance (not the entire salary).

The thing is that at this period, I just really would prefer to be myself. But I don’t know how to break it to her. I’ve dropping hints but she’s not been picking them, or just outright ignoring them.

I wish there is a way to do this without causing any troubles.


James is a certified video marketing specialist who identifies as a “core fan” of DNB Stories!

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3 Comments on “My girlfriend has refused to go back to her house”

  1. Your mental health matters more than your relationship, it seems like. If being alone is more important than pleasing your gf and indulging her flaws, then you should be honest and straightforward. You’ve held it in for so long and it built up a lot of resentment, from what I can read. Instead of increasing your anger, you need to sit with her and be honest. Let her know you’re not ready to move in together and you need to be alone. She’ll be upset at first, but it’s better than breaking up over money and her eating habits.

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