Special Story: A Letter To My Love

by Daniel Nkado

Before I met you, I was on the verge of giving up.

I thought I had lost it all.

There wasn’t a single thing sustaining my very own existence any more.

I had nothing more I was living for.

I was merely a walking corpse.

A flimsy shadow of my old self fluttering about in the wind.

You told me it was okay to feel so empty, so rejected, so frustrated.

But then you said one other thing.

You said it is the duty of angels to scout for souls like mine. You said I was yours to hold, yours to keep, to cherish and to cater for.

You said you were sent to me from beyond.

It was honesty like I never knew it.

I believed you. I believed in you.

And gradually you nursed me back to life.

You are the most patient soul I’ve ever come across.

You became all that I thought I had lost. My everything.

But then you lied to me. Yes, you did.

You didn’t tell me the whole truth.

You didn’t tell me angels do not live forever.

You never mentioned you will leave me.

You never mentioned anything of sort to me.

Never mentioned you were weak, even weaker than I am.

You acted so strong that I did not know anything.

Neither your pain nor the soreness you lived through all night.

I did not know that you gave up living for me.

If my liver were double, I would have gladly given you one.

Maybe if you had told me, I would have given up mine for you.

What do I need it for now anyways? When you are no longer here with me?

What is life without you beside me?

What is it worth to live when I will no longer breathe your scent?

What is sleep if not in your arms?

You said I should be strong but how dare you?

How could you say I should be strong when you are the only strength I know?

How dare you leave me?

How dare you, my love, how dare you?

I can’t do this.

I really can’t.

Can never say it.

Goodbye, no! Will never say it to you!

I will never.

Never!

If only you know how awfully quiet it feels in here now.

If only you know what our son say to me every night.

If only you know the questions he asks.

I’m dead.

I’m gone without you.

Please come back.

Come back to me, please!

Come back, baby. Please!

Please, I beg you.

If you can hear me, please come back.

Please…

Please…