10 reasons people don’t lend you money when you ask

Summoning the courage to ask for a loan from a friend or close associate can be a daunting experience, especially if borrowing is not your thing. There are people who don’t like to borrow, but sometimes life can throw up ugly situations that leave you no choice but to seek help.

The worst part of asking for financial assistance from a friend is getting refused. Getting refused a loan request could prove hurtful, and even unnerving, especially to people who rarely ask. However, there are chronic borrowers in our midst who have mastered the art of constantly borrowing and have also gotten used to being frequently refused.

While this article is targeted at Nigerians, people of other climes could totally relate to it as well.

Here are the top 10 reasons people often refuse to lend you money:

1. You don’t always pay back

Lending money is more a trust affair than you’d realize. And financial trust is one of the hardest to achieve. The easiest way to put yourself on a lender’s red list is when you are known not to pay back what is lent to you. You should also know that people tell stories of a bad experience so failing to pay back a loan you collected from someone will automatically mean that all their friends would have known about the bad behaviour and would not want to lend to you as well.

2. You made a very bad “first borrowing impression”

There is what I call the “first borrowing impression” and this is individual to each lender. How you behaved the first time someone lent you money will go far in determining how the next time will be. A lot of people often neglect this. Here, it’s not just about paying back what was lent to you, it is also about how you did it. If you promised your lender you are going to pay back on the 3rd, you must do everything you can to meet this date, especially if it’s your first borrowing impression for that particular individual. No stories.

3. You ask too often

Nobody wants to lend money to a chronic borrower. Asking for a loan from a friend too often already sends the wrong message, indicating you are probably financially irresponsible or in a financial crisis – two situations that push lenders away.

4. You don’t lend to others

When you call someone up for financial assistance, one of the things they might try to decode is to find out if you’d lend to them if they were in your shoes. This evaluation will affect their eventual decision about your demand.

5. You live a lifestyle you cannot afford

Imagine posting a picture of yourself flying a private jet on Instagram and the next day you are calling someone to borrow 5K naira. This already sends a message that you are not financially responsible and no one wants to use their money to sponsor another person’s luxurious lifestyle.

6. You have made statements in the past about swindling people

It may have been a joke or something you just blurted out but once said is said. A story of how you have swindled people in the past will definitely deter any future lender from considering lending you money.

7. You don’t have a reasonable source of income

Imagine calling a friend to lend you N100K when they know you have been unemployed for months. Not to be harsh, but there is probably no way you are getting a dime from them. Unless they just want to give it out as a cash gift. Why not get a job first and only borrow an amount reasonable to what you earn?

8. You already owe a lot of people

It is bad behaviour to keep borrowing when you are already owing some people. Why not work on getting your debts paid off first before asking for new ones?

9. You don’t have a trust circle

Every financially responsible adult will usually have a few friends they easily lend to and also borrow from. Most people should have this trusted group that shares confidence that has been cemented over many years of relationship. If you don’t have this trust circle, it only means one thing – you behave badly when money is loaned to you.

10. You don’t know how to ask

Believe it or not, some Nigerians don’t know how to ask for assistance. Some feel too entitled while others just don’t care about timing. Imagine asking someone who just delivered a baby for a loan. Also, learn to borrow money for a convincing purpose, not for some weak need you can easily cut off. For instance, asking for a loan from a friend in order to buy a newer iPhone model.

How to react when someone refuses to lend you money

When someone refuses to loan you money, whether a close friend, work colleague or family member, the best thing to do is relax and start looking for other alternatives.

It is their money and you don’t even know what they are going through themselves. If they come to you with their own problems, you will run. If you throw a fit because someone has refused your loan request, this still will not make them want to lend to you the next time you ask. Worst case scenario, they will start avoiding you.

Have you borrowed or lent money to someone before? Share your experience in the comment section below…

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