How To Get Over A Heartbreak Fast

by Daniel Nkado and Gloria Ezeh

Eyaa, so he has finally bolted. And you have decided to bury your broken self in the sheets, feeling like a rapture leftover.

Relax, it’s not the end of the world. Of course, you know that already, but it is just so hard to forget, I know.

Much as I feel the need to join you under the sheets and donate a few tears, I will say NO.

And truly, you can’t categorically tell me that you never imagined a day like this will come. Love need to always be seen as a two-faced bitch; sometimes it lasts, other times it hurts!

Preach it, Adele!

So here are 5 things you can do to see yourself being yourself again in the shortest possible period of time!

1. Conduct His Funeral

Please wait! Wait! OMG! I said you should wait! Drop the knife and listen first!

Jeez, your blood is too hot o.

Okay, I didn’t mean you should kill him. Please don’t even think about it. Kirikiri is a sadder place to be.

Who said he needs to be dead anyway before you bury him. The first step to healing is letting go. I know how hard a part of you is trying to persuade you to wait, that he’d be back someday.

Forget it! He never would have actually left if he was meant to stay.

So take a photograph of him, or any other object that reminds you of him you have, and go to the backyard with a container of kerosene and a matchbox. Conduct a small mass and cremate him!

2. Then Get Busy

So you just had the funeral of a loved one, it is now time to get busy. Unlike in actual funerals where it may be required you take some days off, in this kind, hell NO. Rush into the activity. Get busy with whatever you enjoy doing. Call your girls and throw an after-funeral party. If there is anything like that!

Even if there isn’t, invent it! Faraday didn’t have two heads.

3. Don’t Be Afraid To Meet Someone

Yes yes, don’t say it is too soon. Don’t say all men are now goats—that sort of thing we say when we are hurt— it is not true. This may be the best time to reply to that date invite that has been lying in your inbox since the gods know when. Go out and have fun with someone. Someone hotter! But remember, you shouldn’t put too much interest yet. You are not your complete self yet.

4. Avoid Him Like Plague

If he calls to say you two can still be friends, say no! A friend of him is throwing a party, stay at home. You can decide to throw your own party sef. Unfriend him on Facebook and take him out of your BBM. And please please don’t keep writing updates about him. After you are finally over it, you can now re-add him, if you wish.

5. Read DNB Stories.

Did I hear you say huh? Pull down your lips!

You might not know it, but DNB Stories can help you in ways you can’t even imagine. Need I say more? Read our stories and enjoy yourself. You can even write him a twisted ode and send to us. We will publish it for you.

So have fun, girl, and remember, you don’t need to regret it—you just have to do something better with it. 

Every break-up is a call for renovation. So repair and refurbish yourself, and come out a shining star!


Gloriah Ezeh has gone through over 75 heartbreaks. After completing a 6-month training course in martial arts and hand-to-hand combat, she is now a breaker of hearts!

Share this post with your friends:

20 Comments on “How To Get Over A Heartbreak Fast”

  1. Glo it can only b u. Nice one.
    75 heartbreaks??? Ow come?
    from one to 75,wetin u dey look. It only took me one to run away. My motto is once beaten twice shine.

  2. Uhmmmmmmm….. Very Interesting… Heartbreak sha.
    Me am just passing by ni o… But i like d part that says read Dnb stories really nice nd funny! Thumps up

  3. DNB na so we go dey dey…update us on roomates and something bigger dan love na.
    Also dunno y i cant comment with my phone. had to use my sisters phone

  4. Nne, we actually hav days we post every story. go down the blog and click on the link 'DNB Calendar' to see the timetable.

  5. @Chichi, browse DNB Stories with any other browser EXCEPT Opera-mini and you should be able to make comments.

  6. Eeehkwaa, even the 35 sef is too much biko. Hw come na? Is it every 6 months? Lol

  7. Too much heart break. Why give out ur heart to be broken in d first place. No man had ever broken up with me, I do d breaking anytime I feel or see something fishy to avoid d story that touches d heart.

  8. "helplessly in love like women" oga iyke, so its women that normally fall "helplessly" in love?

  9. Glo you too much! I am still to recover totally from 1 heartbreak and you have recovered from 35! You too much. Bravo!

  10. ALPHA MALE says
    Sis pray u don't fall a victim of heart break, cos if u know what heart break is!!!!! "Case close"

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.