Let me tell you all a story:
A very true story…
There was a guy who went to the city for his Joint Entrance Examination preparations after his 10th year, as most students in India do.
Early in his teenage years, he met a girl and fell in love with her.
It was his first time on this path, but it went well.
The blooming love of two teenagers was perfect until a year later, when the girl dumped the guy.
She was not some crazy bitch who dumped him for someone else. It was actually the guy’s mistake, for which both of them paid for.
The guy tried to get it all back on track, but his mistake was something that could not be undone.
They both still loved each other. He felt sorry for his actions and that is what made him feel even more guilty, because she, too, was paying for a mistake she never committed.
When they broke up, his heart was left ripped.
You can be sad if you get dumped. But if your better half is breaking up with you, and you know she will be sad too, because you are the reason for her own sadness, it just kind of kills you from the inside of your heart.
For first time in his life he felt he lost everything. Once a jolly good guy, he changed into a quiet nobody. As if it were not enough for him, something more came down to leave him even more shattered.
His monthly test results came from the coaching classes.
It was then that he actually saw his grade card in a year. There were grades, but they were all messed up, since he was so busy loving someone and never studying.
With about six months left for his exam, no studies, and a broken heart, he didn’t know what next to do.
So he packed his bags, gave some health reasons to his parents and, with a heavy heart, he left.
He could not even say goodbye to her, as she had already blocked his number.
Sitting on the window seat of the train, he saw the trees passing by and he thought:
“I don’t feel like living anymore. What should I do?”
He didn’t jump from the train, but he did think of it twice. It’s just that he didn’t have enough courage to do it.
He came back home. Could not look his parents in the eyes. He felt all the world’s weight coming down on him.
After about a week since he came home, his parents were not home, and that was when he tried something he had been planning since his return.
He got a rope, tied it to the ceiling fan, and hanged himself.
Call it a matter of chance or just anything else, an old friend of his who had just arrived last evening came to visit him.
The servant let him in and, as friends do, just barged into his room screaming his name.
What he saw was something he never expected.
The guy was saved by his friend, followed by a couple of hot slaps.
He was an idiot to keep his room unlocked, but deep down he didn’t really want to die. He just wanted someone to acknowledge the fact that he failed. He wanted someone to tell him that it’s alright. That it will pass.
Isn’t that what we all want? A little acknowledgement, a little belief. Maybe that’s why he left his room unlocked.
He was saved. What his friend saw, he kept to himself.
But that day, something in our guy changed. When he was dangling from the ceiling, he just felt like this wasn’t right. This is not what he is meant to do. He is much more than that and he should just try again. It took him some days to think about his options. His friend used to come by every day, but he could not make the choices for the guy— he had to do it alone.
A month passed, and in the first week of October, with five months left for the exam, the guy started again.
He joined a local institution and started studying all by himself. He still felt sad at times, but now he had the courage to pass through it. He kept studying.
He never tried to search for that girl again. With the guilt that he carried, he knew she was the only person where all his courage and determination would be useless, and he might not be able to stand it again.
He thought of her every day, but he never tried to search for her.
He kept preparing, and eventually appeared for his JE exam. He cracked it in his first attempt and went to Institute of Technology, Kharagpur.
Now this all might sound a bit film-like to others, but aren’t films based on real events?
Yes, the guy in this story is me and I am happy to say that I have successfully completed my four years at the Institute of Technology.
I still remember her every day, but I don’t search for her. I just think if she comes in front of me today, I might not even be able to face her. It was a young thing, but it was so pure. And I lost it.
But does that mean I should kill myself?
I have got loads of friends here, and since my first girl, I have been in relationships with other girls too, but now, even if there is a breakup, it does not mean I should kill myself.
I am posting this as anonymous, and if she ever stumble on this post, and reads this long a story, she will know…I still love you…S…
As shared by ANONYMOUS…