Life Story: My Life, My Pain


My name is Samson [not real name] and this is my story.

Sometime in 2010, the same year I finished Youth Service, I met a girl that I really liked.

It was at a job interview.

We became friends shortly after, but it wasn’t until early 2011 that we finally put a label to our relationship and began to ‘officially’ date.

Everything has gone smooth ever since.

Not like we never had issues, but it was always something minor and sooner always than later we’d resolved it and have our bond strengthened the more.

She is a good girl and quite respectful too.

In 2013, she landed a job with one of the banks in Lagos.

I felt happy for her, and at the same time a little sad for myself as I was yet to find something meaningful for myself.

The freelance jobs I was doing wasn’t really bringing in much.

After some months, somewhere along the line, my girl became obsessed with marriage.

According to her she claimed most of her friends were all married and she’d like to know the ‘direction’ of our relationship.

She was making all sorts of silly comments and accusations—things like saying that I do not have a lasting purpose for our relationship, accusing me of waiting for just the time I deem right to dump her.

It all felt silly and strange to me because I never for once harboured any of such thoughts.

I told her the reason I can’t get married at this time and she just scoffed at it.

I told her that marriage is a very expensive institution to maintain and she asked me if she is complaining.

She said she wanted to have kids like her friends and I told her I can’t afford to bring any kids into this world without first trying to sort out means for them to be properly catered for.

She called my excuse lame and laughable.

Truth is, she is the only one with a stable job and it feels kind of awkward to start a family where a woman would be the sole provider.

This was the beginning of the first major problem we had.

It was kind of demoralizing because if truly there is any lady in this world that I’m going to get married to ever, it would be no other person but her.

In the later months of this year, we kind of started to lose contact.

It was majorly from her side and she blamed it on her job.

I tried to understand even though I wasn’t very comfortable with it.

First week of December, she told me she would be getting a leave from work and would be travelling to see her parents.

Just some days ago, I discovered that she in fact did travel but it was for her introduction.

By 26th of this month she’d be having her white wedding.

And yet she didn’t even tell me anything.

I confronted her and all she could do was keep asking me who was telling me all these things.

It’s a very difficult scenario for me right now and even though I choose not to be depressed about it, it still is not any easy at all for me.

…story shared by a friend and penned by Victor Uma for DNB Stories.

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24 Comments on “Life Story: My Life, My Pain”

  1. Don't worry. U guys were not meant to be. Just that the way she went about the breakup was wrong. The person meant for you will come. Just relax and trust God. I pray both you and your ex find peace and happiness in life.

  2. She's nt urs. Oge Nwanyi Na aga aga. Let her be, hopefully when u r finally ready to settle God will grace u wit a perfect partner

  3. So sad… Just believe dat wat happened btw u two, happened for your good. God will surely bring d right woman ur way, just tryst in him.

  4. My brother, do not be depressed. The one whom JEHOVAH has ordained for you will not pass you by. Please stay strong. It is well Amen.

  5. From ur narrative, u weren't ready to marry but she is. So it's obvious she isn't ur wife bc whenever u are ready, u will see ur wife. But d way she didn't tell u abt d marriage is wrong but just trust God n move on. Its well. Happy sunday all.

  6. bro move on with ur life. u wia only meant to be friends not husband and wife. ur wife will come when its due. put everything in God's hand and sure he will direct ur path

  7. Bros you don't have to feel bad. she is not your wife, or else she would av reason with you. God will grant you a good job plus wife.

  8. I don't agree with the way she ended the r/ship but chances are when you make it you will look for a younger girl to marry. You can't really tell who a person is or what they are capable of until they make it.

  9. I like the girl for using her head..Men,na wa for you people…you have all the advantages as regards relationship and marriage…you were not ready to marry her..Good she moved on instead of clinging on.afterall when you make money,you will say she os old and dump her for a younger girl…HML to her.If all ladies were as smart as she is,heartbreaks would reduce!

  10. Exactly! A broke man's humility is not to be trusted.Wait till he makes money.i have no problems with how she ended it.Men do worse!!

  11. Such is life. U guys do dsame to us too. BT life goes on. At least your's is only this one bt others have been in this many times. Am saying this out of experience.

  12. Guy move on and pretend like nothing happened,
    Yours is actually loading,
    You have the right to feel offended, be angry and wrathful, but do not sin my brother!

  13. Smart babe,I don't blame the girl o, guys do worst, how sure ar we that you will marry her if u eventually make it big, jus take heart u hear inugo.

  14. Wyaaa…….my bros is dis wat u call pain??? Its nt painful na….u kw u cnt afford to take kia of her if u marri her wen it will be painful is if u can take kia of her and she stilll dump u for anoda guy…..

    Buh a gal don't wait for a guy after u hv gotten d dough u will leave her nd go nd mari one fine girl frm ur village den u will remba dat ur mother told u nt to mari frm that particular village…….
    …Ma guy once told me to give him more 4 yrs so dat he will be ready for marriage cn u imagine??? After d 4 yrs now he will bring ma jnr sis agemate nd tell me his mom said his dad said…….guys cn do nd undo

  15. Awww . . . just move on. That's the best thing you can do for yourself.

    Our past relationships leads to a better one. Samson, go make money!

  16. The girls will say "That babe was sharp" but the guys will say "That babe was mean!"

    Either way you look at it, deception hurts…

  17. Well the girl realized her clock was ticking and she needed to settle down…nigga wasn't ready so she changed gears …if she really loved you she'd have waited for u to be ready and if you really loved her you should have married her because she wasn't complaining …u too weren't really in love …one placed money over the other ,one placed marriage over the other …true love is when you are ready to face ur worst fear for ur spouse

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