It is important to put it out there that there is no rule to the game of love. One can end up falling for anyone, regardless of the “rightness” of that “anyone”. We are often forced to keep trying, knowing that love involves major sacrifices. Love can be one-sided or balanced and this possibility is evident even in a relationship involving a married man and a single woman. Such kind of relationship is associated with huge risks and sacrifices, hence, why it is frowned upon.
Here are some of the major reasons you should never date a married man:
1. Dating a married man can be exhausting
Dating a married man is a secret affair. Mostly, you have to be very conscious of your date venues, time for calls, the manner in which you address your married partner in the public in order to avoid unnecessary embarrassment, etc. It is quite exhausting having every step calculated every time you want – or he wants – to engage.
2. Lack of commitment
In all sincerity, most of these men are aware of their choice to make you the side chic. Unfortunately, regardless of your titillating sexual prowess, beauty and other qualities, they will always choose their wives in the end. This is because they do not just want to hurt the love of their lives and they don’t trust you enough to provide the companionship their wives extend at home when you are not around. On the other hand, supposing they entertain the decision to divorce, more often than not, these men will consider other stakeholders to the situation – their children, the financial consequence, the disapproval of extended family and their reputation in the community. What does he have to lose? They have you to themselves anytime they want without having to commit to you in any way. To them, you are and will always be the side thing.
3. Dating a married man is morally wrong
Let’s face it, adultery is frowned upon in a society where self-righteousness is worshipped. If you choose to be with a married man, you are wrong in the eyes of almost everyone and wrong you are, girl. You will be stigmatized and dissociated if you are caught and this can be a very painful experience to endure. There are many single men out there overflowing with love and affection in their hearts – why not choose a relationship where you feel at peace with your conscience and emotions.
4. Lack of trust
Dealing with half love can be toxic to one’s emotional health. Two things form the bedrock of a healthy relationship – trust and communication. In a relationship involving a single and married person that is unlikely. You will definitely get to a point where you would want more than what he is giving and you can never be completely open about what you feel because you don’t want to lose him. You will also wonder if there are other women acting your role, which is very likely for a man who is willing to break his nuptial vows for pleasure and comfort. You know that he is selfish, yet you endure this torture. On important days, he would not have the time for Christmas celebrations, New Year and other major festivities and there will always be a large gap in your heart for someone to fill that up.
5. No direction
Your relationship with a married man has no direction. The possibility to leave his wife for you is almost zero. He will steadily comfort you with flowery statements like: “I love you more than my wife” or the very popular one – “I wish I’d met you before I married my wife”. This is 2021 and no woman should fall this lie anymore.
6. He would never respect you the way you want
Prior to an affair with that married man, have you asked yourself: What are the standards I have set for myself in selecting a partner? While dating a married man, there is a limit to what you can demand and which of your demands will be met. In fact, you will find yourself always playing by his rules. You call when he wants you to call and meet only when he approves. Why subscribe to such slavery in these modern times?
7. You are only wasting your time dating a married man
When you meet someone you feel attracted to and hope to start a relationship with such a person, you think of high hopes and romantic dreams. You introduce each other to friends and families. Sometimes, you find ways to sync personal goals to suit the future of your relationship. However, these things only happen when there is a hint of certainty in your relationship.
By going into a relationship with a married man, you have only chosen to dedicate time and energy to a man who already has it all. When he leaves you, he would go back to his wife and kids and you to where? No one. You will then realize you have only wasted your time being with this person. You deserve better.