by Lady Gee
In the compound where I live, it is often common to hear neighbours saying to my daughter, ‘You are just as proud as your mother.’
Growing up for me was special. We didn’t have much, but my mother [she was a secondary school teacher] did not let this make us feel any inferior.
In fact, she made us realize we were exceptional. Always.
We did not play with all the kids in the block, did not share things easily and talked to not just any one.
People frowned, scowled and gossiped, but my mother always told us, ‘You are not like them, do you hear me?’
And by now it’s safe to mention she had us three; just three girls that were raised with a special kind of discipline.
A rare kind.
My mother never flogged nor screamed; she was a reserved lady. Just the thought of disappointing her alone was enough chastisement for each and every one of us.
She didn’t pressure us so much though. She made us feel loved. She made us feel special.
Even without money.
I’d say we’d all turned out fine.
Now I have a young daughter that’d soon turn 14.
We are surrounded with more vocal neighbours. At one time, one of them—an aggressive bony woman— had screamed out at me to teach my daughter manners.
According to her, my daughter feels too big and does not greet her elders properly.
I was happy she mentioned she greets at all, just not properly enough.
I’ve always believed a good dose of pride is needed while raising a girl child. The men are lucky; naturally, they are born to dominate.
For my girl to survive in this men-first world, I believe it is not harmful to always tell her that she is special, and that she shouldn’t bother so much about what someone thinks of her.
That she should talk only to those that have some form of respect for her and the things she love.
That she should choose friends that accord themselves a good deal of esteem.
That she doesn’t need a man to be a complete woman.
I feel sad each time I see mothers pressure their daughters about marriage, as if unmarried ladies can never find true happiness.
Yes, I am a married woman, but I never paused my life at some time to wait for marriage to happen.
I’m not a feminist, just a lady with a reasonable amount of self-respect, which I hope to pass down to my daughter.
I want men to smile in gratitude when she responds to them.
That was how I met my husband, after all.
I hope Dan and his crew agree to see this published [and forgive me that I do not always comment on the amazing stories I read.]
My love and respect to all DNB women.