The HONEST truth about dealing with a heartbreak

by Daniel Nkado

The honest truth about getting over a heartbreak is that you can’t get completely better in a day, or a few.

Like all injuries, recovering from a broken heart will take a while. But there are ways to make the healing process shorter.

Most times, these approaches are very individual, in that different tactics work for different people. This particular reason might be the reason why the first heartbreak usually hurts the most — because at that time you are still fresh out of ideas and are yet to realize how best to go about the situation.

These tips should help your recovery journey from the pain of a broken heart:

1. Acknowledge your feelings for them

The first step to un-loving a person is to first of all accept that your feelings for them are true, deep and real and acknowledge that you feel that emotion. Feel that love and also feel that pain completely. Denying your feelings for them does not help in any way, and might in fact elongate your recovery.

Don’t fake your feelings. Cry if you want to, get angry if you want to, but it is important that you process all those emotions fully.

2. Realize that it’d certainly be over

As cliche as the saying — Time heals all wounds — sounds, it still remains true in the case of a heartbreak. At first you might be finding it difficult to sleep or even enjoy your favorite sport, but eventually you’d start to sleep normal again and go back to enjoying your hobbies.

There’d be intermittent slips here and there but they get lesser and lesser with time and eventually disappear. For most people, once they are over someone they are over the person and there is no rewiring whatsoever.

3. Do not expect they will ever come around

Accept that what’s gone is gone and make no room for their coming back. This is probably the hardest bit — especially if you are dealing with an emotionally-manipulative person — but you have to make a decision and stick to it. 

Block them on social media if you must — you must remain mentally aware that it is over. They are gone and are never coming back. You may also refer to this previous article.

4. Do not blame yourself

If someone didn’t love you back, it’s never anything about you or anything you did. The heart always wants what it wants. No matter who you are, the people who would love you will love you. Never you judge your lovability by one person’s action. You probably have said no to a lot of people who showed interest in you too, so it’s not you.

5. Forgive them

Love is much more than just a feeling. Some times, it could hurt so bad and make us feel really miserable, still, we must always learn to let go off love that turned sour. Forgive them. Accept yourself as you are.

Forgive, but don’t forget the lessons learnt. The memories of each love encounter, whether good or bad, will remain part of us.


Daniel Nkado is a Nigerian writer and the founder of

Get some of his books on DNB StoreOkadaBooks or BamBooks!
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