What to do when somebody hurts your feelings

by Daniel Nkado

Have you ever felt so upset with someone for hurting your feelings that you didn’t want to ever speak to them again?

It’s a common scenario: feeling hurt because you feel as though you’ve been betrayed, disrespected, rejected, deceived, let down, or unfairly accused or criticized.

Being overly sensitive to other people’s feelings, actions and opinions about you can often put a significant strain on your person.

In fact, your hurt feelings can pile up over time, which can eventually lead to resentment, anger, sadness, even depression. It will force you to hold onto grudges, to seek revenge, to lose all faith and trust in people, and to wallow in cynicism and self-pity.

All of this stems from the fact that you are taking things too seriously and personally. Everything another person does seems to be a direct attack on you and your personality. You feel as though other people are out to get you — as though the world is after you.

However, this is rarely the case. Your perceptions are clouding your vision and triggering your hurt feelings.

But what do you actually do when someone did in fact hurt your feelings on purpose?

1. First of all, know that no one harms another unless they are in pain themselves.

Ever noticed how, when you’re in a good mood, it’s very hard for you to harm or hurt anything? You may even take the time to get a spider out of the sink. But if you’re in a bad mood or are feeling very stressed, then how easy it is to wash it down the drain.

2. Value yourself enough that you don’t ever live by anyone’s validation.

Have you seen you? Do you realize you are the most awesome thing to ever come out of this planet yet? Do you, darling, know how special you are? If you ever find yourself in a circle you are only tolerated but not celebrated, please MOVE! That’s what stars do.

3. Recognize that no one can hurt your feelings unless you let them.

Hard to believe, as no one actually wants to be hurt but it’s true. When someone hurts you and you stay hurting, nurturing those ugly feelings, you are unconsciously letting them have an emotional control over you.

4. Never blame yourself!

Or even start considering how you may have contributed to the situation. No. If someone is deliberately nasty, that’s their problem, their worry, and not yours. Never ever take responsibility for somebody else’s sh*t.

5. Learn to treat people exactly the same way they treat you.

This is basic law. Don’t go under the bullet for someone who couldn’t even bother to take a pinch for you. Devote more time and attention to only those who acknowledge your awesomeness.

If someone is ever rude to you, you owe it to yourself to let them realize that nobody has a monopoly on rudeness.

It’s not being petty or anything, it’s actually called self-love! Learn to always put yourself FIRST, baby!


Finally, remember, it is people with an unmet need for self-love that get hurt the most. This “need” usually comes from a deep craving for love and attention from others.

This makes you very susceptible to other people’s opinions and criticisms.

But you got to realize that as long as long you stay loving yourself, nobody else’s opinion really matters.


Daniel Nkado is the founder of DNBStories.com.

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