by Staff writer
When a couple of senior bachelors were asked online how living unmarried feels for them, they gave a rather surprising answer
While most people, including the person asking the question, assumed lifelong bachelorhood equals loneliness and sadness, the answers the men gave went on the contrary.
Steven Cohen, a musician and former lifeguard and swim instructor, says:
“I’m 72 years old, a bachelor and never married. No kids. But I’m not lonely. To tell you the truth, there are lots of peace and quiet around my apartment — I like that.
Although, certainly it would be nice to have a “Besty” but I’ve found that relationships are a real give and take thing and I just like the idea of me doing what I want and not having someone over my back, giving me suggestions/advice every day all the time, (not that every relationship is like that but….) or having to get their approval to do something.
You call it loneliness, I call it freedom. If you are not happy with what’s flying around inside your head, well, you gotta do something about that, and depending on someone else may work for you or the two of you but someday, your gonna be alone and if you don’t know how to handle it it’s going to be a rough ride.
I’ve realized that I’m probably going to be one of those people that end up dead in their apartment, but that’s okay — I’ll have lived my life exactly how I wanted it.”
Troy Smith, who attended Fluvanna County High, says:
“Why does everyone think when you’re alone you are lonely, Some people deal with being alone than others; at 53, I prefer to be alone.
I can do what I want, when I want it and if I want. I’m self-sufficient and I can do everything my self. I really wouldn’t need a woman because I can do anything a woman could do for me, and it’s just easier and less stressful to just do it yourself.
And I enjoy my own company too. Who knows you better than you? Your likes your dislikes your everyday routine! I had a little brother that my mom said when he was a little boy he needed a whole football team to make him feel good. But with me she said even as a little boy I could just have my toys and be satisfied with that.
I have a friend who stays with me, he has 10 children by 5 different women. But I guess these women didn’t do as good as I could with the home care and didn’t want to. People need to ask themselves why they are needed and what they are going to do for people that they can’t do for themselves.”
Glen Lee Roberts, an entrepreneur, says:
“It is easy to see if someone is “alone”, but it is hard to tell if that person is really “lonely”. I often dine out, or go for coffee alone. When I do so, many see me as a “stiff”, “unhappy” or a “disagreeable” person. However, when I am out with others they see me as “fun”, “energetic” or maybe even “childish”.
The difference, of course, is that in the former, I am deep in my own thoughts, while in the later I am engaging with the world.
So, one might easily decide from afar when they see me “alone” that I am also “lonely”. In fact, the only person who could judge whether I am lonely or not, is none other than myself.
I think life is best when it offers an individual the right mix of good companionship and solitude. The right mix is of course unique for each person. I also find bad companionship much worse than solitude or even loneliness.
The real question is whether society offers those who feel lonely (be that young, old or anything else) suitable opportunities for companionship.”