Mistakes and hurt are part of every relationship, even very healthy ones. One of the true tests of a real relationship is how you get through tense situations like when one person feels hurt by the other. Apologizing when you hurt your partner is the right thing to do but you may have to apply extra tactics if the person you are apologizing to is a Nigerian.
Here are 5 easy ways to apologize to your Nigerian girlfriend when you hurt her:
1. Listen and allow her to finish
Do not try to argue or shush her up as this will only end up escalating the issue. Be attentive and catch exactly where she is headed. Even if she is not headed somewhere straight (some people talk in an uncoordinated way when they are angry), still listen to her. You might catch one or two things that will help you avoid a repeat of the offence. Just keep listening to her – you will know when it’s time to finally speak.
2. Offer a simple and straight apology
When it’s time to finally speak, do not try to over-explain yourself or go defensive with a litter of words. It is not the time for proving who is right or wrong at this time. Offer your apology in a simple and straightforward way, showing her that you truly mean it. Even if you feel she is overreacting, still offer a normal, genuine apology.
3. Apologize in a local language
In Nigeria, we all speak English, but there might be times using your local language will prove more effective in showing the full extent of your sincerity. For example, if your girlfriend is Igbo and you say something like “Nkem, ozugo, gbaghara m” to apologise – there is every opportunity that she will calm down at this point and listen to you.
4. Make her a promise
Assure her it will never happen again and make her understand you mean it.
5. Offer her a treat
Nigerian girls appreciate “tangible apologies”. There have even been reported cases of wives forgiving their husbands for cheating after he buys them a car. So offer your sad girlfriend a treat. She is your girlfriend, you will know what she likes. You don’t have to over-spend or break the bank – I’m sure you two won’t be dating if she is an over-demanding and extremely materialistic person.