by Amanda Chatel
Marriage is changing.
The marriages we see today are far different than the ones of our grandparents or even our parents, for that matter.
Our ideas and how we view marriage has evolved, and while for some it still might be the ultimate goal, the truth isn’t a pretty one: Marriage is overrated.
Yes, you can take the route of saying it’s just a piece of paper that binds you and your partner, so it’s overrated in that regard, but there’s more to it than that.
It’s overrated in a lot of ways!
1. Marriage doesn’t equal happiness
For people who have been longing to get married, pining away since they were kids to do so, they might live under the delusion that marriage will fix everything and make it all perfect, but that’s not true. Even if you marry the love of your life, there’s no guarantee you’ll be happy.
2. No one is immune to divorce
With the divorce rate lingering around 50 percent, no one is immune to joining in the statistic.
3. You don’t need to be married to live together
Sure, it might have been frowned upon in the 50s, but if you can live together now and no one cares, locking it down with legality just seems silly.
4. You don’t have to be hitched to have kids
Actually, all you need is some sperm, and you’re golden!
5. You can get insurance by just being someone’s partner
Although this isn’t the case everywhere, a lot companies offer insurance to the partner’s of their employees, straight or gay couples.
6. It’s expensive
Unless you run off to town hall, getting married with all the frou-frou is really pricy. So you waste all that money on one day, then start your life together with pennies. The wedding day is even more overrated than marriage, to be honest.
7. It can make you feel trapped
At least if you’re cohabitating, you can bail when things get scary or you realize it’s time to move on. Being married doesn’t allow for such a luxury.
8. It’s a lot of work
Like, A LOT. It’s one thing to be in a relationship where you live together, but for some reason, marriage changes everything. You’re suddenly two parts of one whole in the eyes of the law and nothing is completely yours ever again ― everything is shared and divided.
9. Fidelity is a struggle
Not to burst anyone’s bubble, but remaining faithful to one person for the long run isn’t easy. And the fact that marriage isn’t viewed as being as sacred as it once was and the reality of temptation always being nearby, fidelity can be one of the biggest challenges of marriages ― a challenge you could avoid by just staying single.
10. You end up sacrificing yourself
Even if you swear you never will, you will absolutely sacrifice much of yourself for your marriage for many reasons. One being because it is so hard, and the second being because people don’t change, so all you can really do sometimes is sacrifice just to get by.
11. It’s becoming obsolete
Not only is marriage overrated, but it’s becoming obsolete. It no longer offers the benefits it once did, because we no longer need it. Both men and women can take care of themselves, human beings are more and more independent, and it has just become an unnecessary step that people take out of tradition, obligation, or convenience. It really is nothing special anymore.
Amanda Chatel Amanda is a writer who divides her time between NYC and Paris. She’s a regular contributor to Bustle, Glamour, Mic, and Livingly.
Tweet Amanda @ANGRYCHATEL