How to be a man in Nigeria [20 things you should never do!]

by Daniel Nkado

How to be a man in Nigeria – 20 things you should never do!

1. Don’t cry. Ever!

2. Don’t say ‘I Miss You’ to a fellow man. Use ‘Dear’ to address him and your own done finish be that.

3. Don’t watch Telemundo. And if you decide to go to the extreme and watch Zee World too, please know that your name has been permanently crossed out from the Almighty Nigeria Book of Men.

4. Do not cook. Even if you know how to, just pretend you don’t.

5. Do not keep a girlfriend you don’t have sex with. What the hell are you?

6. Do not read novels. Are you insane? Drop that book, fast!

7. Do not use makeup. Who are you making up for?

8. Do not hold or hug other guys. You must be so gay!

9. Do not say you don’t like politics. Like seriously, does any guy ever not like politics?

10. Do not sleep with just one woman. Where the hell is your conquering spirit? King Solomon must really be turning in his grave right now.

11. Do not say you are broke. Oh man, she gonne leave you so fast you’d wonder if you two were ever together.

12. Do not wear floral perfume. How dare you?

13. Do not ever say you don’t smoke! You don’t drink too? Nigga, please move!

14. Do not eat water melon, or any other fruit you see in the market.

15. Do not shower more than once in a day.

16. Do not sit with your legs crossed. If I slap you eh!

17. Do not clean shave.

18. Do not ever admit that you are afraid. Are you not a man, c’mmon go there and die!

19. Do not ever say you like RnB music. Man, I’m scared of being with you right now.

20. Do not dress to be sexy. Who you wan sexy for sef?


There’s no one way to be a man. Find out who you are and be happy with that person.

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6 Comments on “How to be a man in Nigeria [20 things you should never do!]”

  1. Laughing real hard cause I know someone who checks all the boxes I asked him are you a man just to open DNB and see this.

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