by Daniel Nkado
No matter how tough we think we are, once in a while we run into someone that breaks us.
At first it might all feel intriguingly strange as you watch yourself go, till you eventually realize you have been swimming in lone waters.
While you were engulfed in the magic of attraction, you must have missed a very crucial part of the story — the other party isn’t feeling the same way.
Often, the major reason people resort to begging to be loved is when one realizes the amount of emotional investment they have so far spent, that is so far gone. You look at yourself and go: “What will become of me now?”
“Where do I go from here? What will my friends say?”
But you have to realize that the one thing worse than someone not loving you back is your pleading for the person to stay.
Here are top 5 reasons you MUST never beg someone to stay in your life:
1. They are never going to
First thing you must know about begging someone to love you is that it never works. If they are any nice at all, the most you’d get is their pity. No one deserves that…you least of all.
You see, love is largely an involuntary emotion. Unlike a decision to eat, walk or run, the heart does not seek your opinion before it opens up for a person. You see now why your begging, kneeling, texting, and all sorts, are all entirely pointless. If it’s not there, no amount of begging can conjure it.
2. Begging extends the time you need to regain yourself
Once you’ve realized someone does not love you, the best thing to do is to move on. It might not be easy at the beginning, but eventually, you’d come to that victorious state of not caring anymore. Sticking around and begging for a love that is not forthcoming not only wastes your time but also the energy you could have channelled into more productive things.
3. It prevents you from meeting the right people
There is that patience that comes with loving someone. You might even find yourself making excuses for the person (something you must never do!) — listing out all the possible reasons why the person is not capable of loving you at the moment and consoling yourself with them.
WRONG! That list of excuses does not concern you.
No matter how strongly patient your love for them is causing you to be, you must realize that when it comes to love, the heart is prone to making lots of mistakes. Allow your head to take control for once.
4. Begging for love demeans you
Loving someone is never something you should regret. To love means you are just an amazing person and if the person didn’t return your love, the loss is entirely theirs and not yours. They’ve only missed out on the abundance of charm that flows within you, so instead of ever resorting to beg, gather your je ne sais quoi and repackage it well. The right person is closer to you than you think!
5. They can use it against you
Sometimes our hearts open up for the wrong person. Now that is bad enough on its own — you adding a bunch of self-deprecating text messages, calls or actions to the mix is uncalled-for. Don’t give anybody the easy satisfaction of creating fun off of your feelings. They will read your messages aloud to the person they truly care about and use you for a good laugh. Don’t allow that.
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Daniel Nkado is a Nigerian writer and the founder of DNBStories.com. Get his books on DNB Store, OkadaBooks or BamBooks!
