by Staff writer
Studies have shown that we can only fall in love with these 3 sets of people in a lifetime, each of them for a different reason:
1. First Love
This is the love that looks unbelievably perfect. It normally happens in our teenage years, especially in high school.
We go into this love completely with our heart and would do very crazy things just to keep it, even denying who we really are.
During this time, we feel this is the only love that is possible for us. The only love we need and deserve, even when it might not be so.
2. Second Love
The second one is hard love—the love that teaches us lessons about who we are and how we often want or need to be loved.
This is the kind of love filled with hurts, lies, pain or manipulation. We think we are making different choices than our first, but in reality we are still making choices out of the need to learn lessons—so we hang on.
Our second love can become a cycle, oftentimes one we keep repeating because we think that somehow the ending will be different than before. Yet, each time we try, it somehow ends worse than before.
Sometimes it’s unhealthy, unbalanced or narcissistic even. There may be emotional, mental or even physical abuse or manipulation—most likely there will be high levels of drama.
This is exactly what keeps us addicted to this story line, because it’s the emotional roller coaster of extreme highs and lows and like a junkie trying to get a fix, we stick through the lows with the expectation of the high.
3. Third Love
This is the love we never see coming. The one that usually looks all wrong for us and that destroys any lingering ideals we clung to about what love is supposed to be.
This is the love that comes so easy it doesn’t seem possible. It’s the kind where the connection can’t be explained and knocks us off our feet because we never planned for it.
This is the love where we come together with someone and it just fits—there aren’t any ideal expectations about how each person should be acting, nor is there pressure to become someone other than we are.
We are just simply accepted for who we are already—and it shakes to our core.
It isn’t what we envisioned our love would look like, nor does it abide by the rules that we had hoped to play it safe by.