by Staff writer
Bear in mind that the surest way to know if your husband is gay is if he tells you.
Unfortunately, one of the hardest things for homosexual men married to women to do is to tell their wives they are gay.
In fact, it is estimated that 50% of gay husbands hide their homosexuality from their wives and don’t reach this place of honesty on their own.
In many cases, it is the wife, who after suspecting that something is wrong, must confront the gay husband with the evidence, and only then can honesty be achieved.
But if you’re wondering whether your husband is gay or not, it might be helpful to know that there are signs to look for, according to Bonnie Kaye, M.ED., an expert in women married to gay men.
Kaye has developed what he calls the ‘Official Gay Husband Checklist’ to help women know if their husbands are gay.
Kaye’s checklist includes:
1. There is a decline of sexual activity early in your marriage that never picks up again. He tries to convince you that all relationships have a decline in sex even when you’ve only been together for a few years.
2. He is turned off by normal sexual activity and accuses you of being oversexed, aggressive, or a nymphomaniac when you have normal sexual needs.
3. His sexual performance is more mechanical than passionate with a lack of satisfying foreplay.
4. He claims he is “depressed” and will blame his depression or medication for depression for his lack of sexual desire for you.
5. You find sexual enhancers such as Viagra (sildenafil citrate) or Cialis (Tadalafil) hidden in his private hiding places, but you know he hasn’t made any attempt to have sex with you.
6. He tells you that he wants you to use sex toys on him because he needs his prostate stimulated or because he likes kinky sex.
7. He erases his browsing history on a regular basis.
8. He spends excessive time texting people at irregular hours.
9. He starts to spend more time at the gym and works on changing his appearance.
10. He says he is having a “mid-life crisis” and becomes moody and depressed.
11.He tells you about sexual abuse in his childhood/adolescence.
12. He admits to having a homosexual encounter in the past.
Again, Kaye says these signs are not meant to be definitive.
A husband many be gay and display none of those signs or a husband may display these signs and still not be gay.
These signs are only designed as a starting point.
Kaye advises that women “follow their instincts” when deciding whether their husband may be gay or not.