Before you post that RIP on Facebook, read this

by Daniel Nkado

It seems these days the first thing people do once they learn of someone’s passing is rush to Facebook to do an RIP post.

They pick one of the deceased person’s most glamorous pictures (some will even go as far as personally photo-shopping the picture) and write a lengthy message about how great their friendship was and how they miss them.

But the shame of it all is the fact that before that person died, he or she has been having birthdays, career achievements and pleasant events, yet neither of those moved the RIP poster to do a post — until the person died.

And you never see these RIP posters write a word when they lose the help or a poor friend — it is only the successful and famous ones they write farewell messages for.

Because that’s what brings all the attention!

Here are 5 important points to note before posting RIPs on Facebook:

1. Don’t rush to post on Facebook

The first thing to do when you learn about someone’s death is not to rush to post RIP on Facebook. Unless you are a family member of the deceased, stay calm first and allow those directly affected to make a statement. Under this statement, you can leave your farewell message.

Even if the family didn’t make an official statement, let them be. It is their right to grieve as they wish to. Not everyone wants their period of mourning be televised.

2. Never tag the deceased

Why would you even do this? So that the dead person will see your post from heaven and like it? Tagging the profile of a late person in your RIP post only reeks of attention-seeking and thoughtlessness.

3. No emojis and hashtags or misspellings

If you are in a hurry or not sure what to write, don’t write anything at all. You mustn’t. Better not to than write something that’d cause the grieving family more pain.

Emojis are playful tools of social media communication and hashtags are for visibility. Nobody asked you to help them advertise their loved one’s death. The worst of it all is using misspellings or abbreviations and slangs — it screams insensitivity!

4. Don’t share personal stuff

Even if your first kiss was from the deceased or you guys have a baby together, it doesn’t need to be on Facebook.

Good, you have fun images of you and the deceased, but now is not the time to post them. You should have shared them a long time ago when they were still alive. Nobody wants every Tom, Dick and Harry to read about their life when they pass.

5. Don’t share what went down at the funeral

It’s a good thing you found time to attend your friend’s funeral but keep in mind you had gone there to grieve with the family and relatives and not snoop on them.

Nobody needs to know about the aunt that caused a scene during the prayers or how badly the food tasted.


Truth is, no matter how genuinely sad you feel about your friend’s death, posting RIPs on Facebook could come off as attention-seeking.

Instead of waiting till your friend dies to do a post about them, why not do a post about them now that they can see it?


Daniel Nkado is a Nigerian writer and the founder of

Get some of his books on DNB StoreOkadaBooks or BamBooks!
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