by Staff writer
We live in a society that discourages men from talking about their feelings.
Men are socialized to always be strong and play the role of the provider and protector.
They are raised to be breadwinners. They’re told that when they grow up they’ll meet a nice girl and get married and have kids and buy a house and go be the provider for their nice little nuclear family.
Sadly, that is not the way things work anymore.
We are the first generation in centuries that is worse off than the generation before us — the days where a man can get a job and buy a house and raise a family off a single income are long gone.
These days both parents are likely to have to work, and even then most of us will never be able to afford to buy a place of our own.
Fewer and fewer people are having kids, and the ones that do are having them later and later in life, because they can’t afford to do otherwise.
Jobs are not for life anymore, and most families are living a couple of rent payments away from homelessness at any time, so financial security is rarer and rarer these days.
In essence, judged by the standards of the 50s and 60s, most men are not living up to their responsibilities.
And a lot of people still judge men by those standards. Imagine the impact of such pressure.
Read this short story by Daniel Nkado.
Of course things are hard for women too, but it’s way harder for men.
Men are pushed into the role of provider and protector pretty much from birth, and then thrust into a world where it’s almost impossible for them to meet that role.
They’re then strongly discouraged from talking about their feelings and their struggles, and if they do manage to do so, there aren’t really any resources available to provide for them.
There are hardly any ministries and/or institutions where men can go to shed their feelings without fear of being judged and shamed.
The truth is that we’re all human. Every single person on earth experiences doubt, loneliness, fear, anger, and insecurity.
As a society, we generally champion men who are strong and in control, while equating male openness and emotional honesty with weakness.
But this is false and very damaging.
In a society that constantly tells men that their feelings aren’t valid or aren’t manly enough, I don’t think the high incidence of male suicide should be that surprising to anyone.
Feelings are sometimes the most human aspect of life because they come so naturally and are often felt so deeply. To be told that your feelings aren’t valid is to be told that who you naturally are is wrong.
Essentially, more men are killing themselves because the world is changing, and the expectations placed on them as men aren’t changing with them!
