10 Things Every Nigerian Wife Has Done Before

by Victor Uma

1. Pretend to be sleeping when hubby is on the phone with someone

2. Wish someone could come and rent her kids for sometime

3. Compare her husband’s car with his friend’s

4. Briefly think of all the other men she could have married while dishing hubby’s food

5. Save water melon seeds to go and plant later

6. Paint her nails red, clean them and paint them green, then clean again and go back to red

7. Come back home after seeing her friend off, sit in the parlour and while trying to turn on the TV, wonder if her friend is happier than her

8. Try to cook what she has not cooked before and then hide away the mess she did and never talk about it

9. Beat her child and then suddenly regrets it

10. Compare her wedding dress to that of her friend

Oya add yours!

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22 Comments on “10 Things Every Nigerian Wife Has Done Before”

  1. 1.Initiating s*x, and later denies that it was her idea!
    2.Started to dress up and be the last to finish!
    3.Borrow hobby phone to make call ,but having the intention of snooping!
    4.Tell the hubby that her friend's hubby have changed their car in an effort to remind him that they need to change theirs too! let's go there!

  2. No 5 got me lol…they plant almost anything from bitter leaf branch, to isi-ji and more
    Nma's Blog 

  3. Calls him to buy panadol when coming back because you have a spliting headache, in order to escape L*ve making that night. Lol

  4. Complain that her son is just sitting at home idle, but when he comes back home late, she complains he's keeping late nights.

  5. Hahahahahaha…little wonder!

    My Mum: Nnaa, kpoo nna gi, tell him to buy Panadol when coming home.

    Me: But there is Panadol at home na?

    Mum: The one you bought abi?

  6. What's up, just wanted to say, I liked this article.
    It was inspiring. Keep on posting!

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  7. I have never done 3,5,6 , 7,8 &10. When I try new dishes and it comes out a mess, my husband and I laugh over it.

  8. hahaha so so on point…lol Voctor oo Abi u dey see vision….lol Couldnt have said it better.

    'Adding a little extra to the amount you bought some items he promised to give refund'

  9. Hello,

    From what you wrote, are you saying there is no Nigerian woman that hasn't done any of the things mentioned? 'Cause it seems 'discouraging'. If the woman married 'her dream', why would she look at her friend, and wonder if she's happier? If she absolutely trusts her husband, why would she pretend to be awake when he's on the phone? Kind of discouraging.

    (From a male – unmarried)


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