Ghosts are real in Nigeria (almost every Nigerian believe so) – which means ghosting is very real too. Talking about learning from the best.
What is ghosting? You shouldn’t ask what ghosting is because you have pretty much experienced it before. Almost everyone has. Ghosting is when someone suddenly cuts you off without no explanation whatsoever.
Think of this scenario. You met this handsome dude at the club or beach or wherever else people exchange numbers. You guys got talking and you find out he is actually quite an interesting person. And cute too – that part. A date was planned and you two had the most amazing time of your lives. Well, you assumed that. You really don’t know what he is thinking, do you?
The next morning (you had a drunken night and had slept well into the day) – but you picked your phone expecting to see a “Good morning” text with cute lovey-dovey smileys – you saw NOTHING. You think up an excuse and decide to give him time. Still nothing.
Finally, you decide to say “Hi” yourself. The Whatsapp message stood on a single mark the whole day and from day to days, to weeks and then months. That’s it – you’ve just been ghosted!
Ghosting dey pain – I swear. It hurts more than a normal breakup.
Here are 5 reasons someone ghosted on you:
1. You did something they don’t like
To be honest, the initial period of meeting someone is like a test, whether or not you are aware of it. You are both getting to know each other and people have limits and the unsuspecting person may not even be aware when any of these limits have been crossed. Some of these so-called limits can be unreasonable at times – for instance, something as simple as commenting about their job or skin colour. The fact is that you can safely talk about these things after a level of familiarity has been achieved, but in the initial period, these limits are strongly set and crossing them comes with severe consequences.
2. They are players
Not everyone on the dating market is looking for a serious and committed relationship. Some just want sex or has not met someone in a long time and just wants to explore. Poor you – you came to meet him or her brimming with hope. Perhaps an answer (finally) to your late-night prayers about a soul mate. Pele. In fact, there is the type of ghosters that behave like Nollywood ghosts. They reappear briefly, full of love, promises and activity and the next week they are nowhere to be seen again. They remember you when they need sex or something else and disappear immediately they get it. You just have to be wise and stop giving.
3. They have other things going on
People are going through a lot. They might actually like you and want something meaningful but there are side issues preventing that so they just decide to stay away. For instance, s(he) may be suffering from depression or going through family issues. These are real situations so sometimes the ghosting might actually not have been an easy decision to make.
4. They are scared
This is another common reason people ghost. Maybe their last relationship ended so badly that even the small flicker of love they are starting to feel for you sends chills down their spine. It is sometimes a war of whether to give a chance or not and once they decide otherwise, they disappear.
5. They are hiding something from you
It could be a little intimacy secret that they are ashamed of. There is a story of a girl that got ghosted because the guy was scared to let the girl see his third nipple. Weird, right?
There are many other reasons people get ghosted – maybe the ex came back or something. The truth is that it doesn’t really matter the exact reason for the ghosting. Just pull yourself together and march on, like a soldier you are.