Joke: Mama Ijeoma’s Secret

by Gloria Ezeh

6-year-old Ijeoma was in the sitting room, playing with her kid brother when suddenly the boy scattered the game.

Ijeoma was furious.

Mama Ijeoma was in the kitchen making dinner for her family when Ijeoma walked into the kitchen.

‘Mummy, where did Junior come from?’ Ijeoma asked her mother.

Mama Ijeoma stared at her daughter. ‘Same place as you, my dear,’ she said, turning back to what she was doing.

Ijeoma was still curious. ‘Ok, mummy, but how did we really come?’

Mama Ijeoma raised her face and thought for a few seconds. Then she said, ‘Well, my dear, Daddy and Mummy fell in love and got married. One night, they went into the bedroom and locked the door. They began to kiss and hug, and then they had sex.’

Ijeoma looked puzzled the more. ‘What is sex, mummy? How is it done?’

‘Daddy puts his thing into Mummy’s thing, that’s how you get a baby, honey. That’s how you and Junior came.’

Ijeoma seemed to comprehend now. ‘Oh, I see, mummy. But the other night when I peeped through your door, you had daddy’s thing in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?’

‘Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.’

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About Daniel Nkado

Daniel Nkado is a Nigerian queer writer and culture strategist using storytelling and public education to challenge stigma and build safer, more liberated worlds for LGBTQ+ people.

View all posts by Daniel Nkado

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