As I watched him walk out my door that morning, slow and reluctant in motion, his shoulders slumped in defeat, I felt very miserable.
The door shut behind him and I fell on my pillow and cried my eyes out.
It all began the night I was sick and went to his room to borrow a pack of Ibuprofen.
He was speaking with someone on the phone when I entered his room, so I just went straight to his desk, took the drug and left back to my room.
But he later called and asked what I needed the drug for and I told him.
He asked that I open my door for him so that he’d see how I was doing.
When he came in and saw my condition, he insisted he’d sleep over in my room that night to be sure I was safe.
I objected, but he insisted.
The first part of the night, I slept for about 2 hours or so before I came awake again.
I tried all I could to go back to sleep, but it didn’t work.
I had even forgotten that someone else was in my room, on my bed beside me, till I turned and saw him.
His breathing was gentle, but I knew he was deep in sleep. And he looked so cute sleeping.
I stared at his face for a while and nearly smiled.
Then I picked my phone to browse. My phone’s light got him awake and he stirred and stretched.
‘You need to sleep so that the drugs will work,’ he told me.
‘I’ve tried,’ I said.
He sighed and rose to a sitting position on the bed.
He tried his best to make me go back to sleep, but it didn’t work.
I was feeling weak, both from the drugs and some other factors.
‘What can I do to make you sleep?’ he asked me.
‘I don’t know,’ I said.
He shifted closer, nestled me to himself like a baby and tried to rock me to sleep.
But the more he tried, the more awake I found myself.
In the proximity of his skin, I smelt his fragrance. A sweet masculine scent.
With his big muscular arms curled round me, I began to feel tender with emotion.
I noticed I was becoming warm, and the air in the room was turning delicious.
I was near my season so I guess all my hormones were alert and wild.
Between his legs I perceived a hardening and suddenly exhaled.
When he leaned slightly and slipped his lips into mine, a chill ran down my sides.
His kissing was gentle, filled with passion. His tongue tasted sugary and his breath minty.
Below, his solid enlargement prodded my thighs.
Amid the gentle sucking sounds we were making, he muttered to me, ‘I love you.’
I didn’t respond.
I was already lost in the sugary pleasure he sent flooding through me.
Completely drowned in it, I held him tight and begged him to have me.
Right there on my bed, he made sweet love to me.
It was not right, I know, but I couldn’t do anything.
His touch was so irresistible.
But yesterday I told him we can no longer continue. I finally had to tell him.
He asked me why, his voice heavy with emotion.
‘There is someone else,’ I told him. ‘I was never single.’
He kept staring at me.
I told him that I am sorry.
‘Please,’ he said. ‘Be mine.’
I shook my head and told him I can’t.
Finally he nodded and told me it was okay.
And he turned and left my room.
Today when I went to his room to check on him, I got no response.
I knocked and knocked but no sound came.
I turned the door handle and pushed it gently open.
His room was empty.
He was gone.
Because of me.
Gosh, my damn hormones!