How to be a classy lady

by Caroline Zelonka

Not sure if I’m a living example of a classy person, but I can offer up some tips and tricks for someone who might want to clean up their act, so to speak.

1. Follow the golden rule. Treat others like you’d want to be treated, even if they don’t deserve it.

2. Practice respect and acceptance. If you have a real problem with someone, avoid interacting with them.

3. Keep your eyes on your own paper. By this, I mean don’t concern yourself with what other people may be doing, wearing, thinking, achieving, or how they are behaving. If it’s not affecting you, mind your own damn business.

4. Still speaking of minding your own business, learn to curse sparingly. It’s easy to fall into the habit of saying “fuck” all the time, but people who over-swear can appear less than classy.

5. Take responsibility for your actions. If you cause someone grief or pain, even if it’s unintentional, apologize and try to make amends. Try not to leave a mess for someone else to clean up. Avoid pointing fingers.

6. If you’re in a bad mood, try to keep it to yourself. Or at least, warn others that you might be cranky or grouchy. Don’t let your pain radiate to other people.

7. Try not to be a humorless ball of outrage all the time. I see this so much on Facebook, and while I realize that some people are really mad at Monsanto or various hate groups, would it KILL you to post a funny cartoon or animated GIF once in awhile?

8. Clothing, hmmmm, I try not to be judgemental but I’ll say this: if you’re 40, don’t try to look 20. If you have a muffin top, wear a camisole underneath so it doesn’t hang out for everyone to see. Club clothes are for clubbing, not work, unless you work in a club, of course.


My name is Caroline and I have been an advertising writer since 1991. You can see some of my work on

I don’t have many credentials, other than the fact I’ve been on this planet a while, and I’ve paid attention.

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