What I heard at a feminist conference that shocked me to the bones!

by Ara Mambreyan

“Women are the primary victims of wars!”

I heard this statement several days ago in a conference dedicated to feminism and gender equality.

The topic of discussion was the influence that armed conflicts have on women.

Two girls took the microphone and expressed their views:

“Women have ALWAYS been the primary victims of wars. Their husbands and sons die, and women have to cope with their deaths.”

The funny thing is that the first person to make this statement was former US First Lady, Hillary Clinton, during her 1998 speech on domestic abuse in El Salvador.

So let me get this straight:

According to their logic, if a husband dies, a wife is the primary victim because she would suffer and feel depressed?

What an interesting point of view…

They went on:

“I feel offended because many men do not confess that women are the ones suffering from wars.”

At this point, I felt like men were depicted as pets. And, believe me, I am not a person who gets easily offended. I am easy-going and can find humor in negativity, but this was beyond boundaries.

If people die, then they are the primary victims. The logic people use to refute this argument — suffering from the loss of a loved one is worse than dying — also entails that women should kill themselves when their husbands or sons die in wars because that is better, right?!


I am not saying women do not suffer because of wars. Sexual violence and rape in armed conflicts are modern issues that we should find solutions for.

But, to say, women are the primary victims of war requires extreme sexism against men and uneducated ignorance.

I would not mind particularly if they said “women are as much victims of war as men.”

That is argumentative and I would not mind it.

But no…

Many modern “feminists” choose to dehumanize, bully and abuse men because of their own insecurities. During the conference, they managed to find “sexism” against women even at the smallest things and I felt like a pet during the whole discussion.

I don’t hate feminists. Feminists who promote equal rights. Feminists who understand that the topic is two-sided and men face discrimination as well.

But I can’t stand the people who use feminism as an excuse to dehumanize men and feed their egos.


Ara Mambreyan studies at the University of Cambridge (2021), an aspiring scientist and writer.
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